Columbia University

First and foremost, I would like to thank all of my devoted followers. And I hope that you won't be disappointed with the news that I have decided to change direction with this blog. From this point forward, I shall be posting the funny (at least to me) moments of my days.

So, I'll start by telling you a little story that happened today. As most of you (or perhaps I should say both of you) know, I tend to ramble. I'm not going to change that. I simply refuse. And today, I'm going to give a little backstory to my story as well.

Recently, I joined a tutoring service. You sign up online, and take tests, and then people write to you to be tutored. I took the necessary tests to tutor such subjects as algebra. geometry. calculus. algebra two. trigonometry. pre-algebra. precalculus. SAT math. (you probably get where I'm going here) and economics. I tricked you. Yes, I studied economics in undergrad. And by undergrad, I mean when I was in high school. I took several economics classes, both beginner, intermediate, and advanced level. And I passed the test on the tutoring site to prove that I knew it well enough to tutor it.

So, the way the website works, you have to wait for people to respond to your posting. Then you can tutor them. You can also go looking for people to tutor, but that involves search engines, and I'm not very mechanical. So, I sat, for minutes, hours, days even, watching my email to see if anyone would write to me. I was sure that some 14 year old girl in Brooklyn would need help with her pre-algebra homework. No such luck though.

Saturday night rolled around, and I needed a break from my email. So Kevin and I went out for a drink. Well, maybe a few drinks. At 4:00 am, I checked my email, and I had a message. A MESSAGE. Not just any message... a tutoring message. A student from Columbia wanted my help. For economics. For his midterm on Monday (the Monday that is in little more than 24 hours from this point). It's only been about fourteen years since I took an economics class, so I was sure I could help him out. Sure of it. I immediately responded.

Fast forward to today, 2:30 in the afternoon. I'm sitting on the 1 train, being serenaded by Jason Mraz. I make my way up to Columbia University. The Columbia University. The student, let's call him Student to protect the innocent, tells me, "You'll need to use my friend's ID to get into the library." I find it a little odd. NYU allows you to sign guests in. But this IS Columbia. So we walk in. He puts his ID on the scanner. I try to follow his lead. But nothing happens. No green light flashes for me. I fidget with it a little bit. Still flashing red. Student comes back out of the atrium and does it for me.


We start walking in, and the security guard stops us and asks us for our IDs. BUSTED!!! I won't go through the details of what transpired between the guard and Student. I will say that not only was Student's ID confiscated, his friend's was also. And it turns out, I don't know enough about Political Economy to help him anyway.

So I go home. And I stop to get a FastBreak for me and my babe on the way.

You may be asking yourself if this is really a funny story or not. Well, that's just it. It's funny to me. And maybe that's the funny part. You may also be saying, all that buildup, and we're let down with the conclusion. Well, I just say, stop being stupid. Find the humor already, and go read Maggie's Octopus.