Epiphany!

Yes, it's true. I had an epiphany today. The clouds parted, the sun shone through the window, and I realized... I don't want to be a mathematician!


Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "No, it's not possible! How could anyone not want to be a mathematician!?!? Surely, you're mistaken!"

No folks, it's true. I do not want to be a mathematician. And I'll tell you how I came to realize it.

I was sitting in class tonight. It was a fine class. The professor, Frank, has a great sense of humor. At the start of the class, he dropped a piece of chalk, and mumbled, "Shit. That was the only good piece." Then aloud, to the class, "I guess we won't be having a very long class today." Laughter ensued. But this was not when I decided I didn't want to be a mathematician.

In fact, the entire class went well. We didn't really get out early. That was just some math department humor. (NOTE: read previous blog posts to find out more about math department humor)

After class, we had a recitation with a Ph.D. student who is just okay. He's a nice enough guy. A little nervous at the board, but he's probably new to it. The recitation tends to be a little boring, but not awful. During recitation, we work out a bunch of problems on the board. Generally the problems are not too difficult, definitely not the level that they expect us to work out on our own in the homework assignments.

One of the problems we worked out tonight:

f(x) = x^2
Find subsets A and B of R such that f(B\A) is not equal to f(B)\f(A).

Let B = [-1, 1]
f(B) = [0, 1]

Let A = [1/2, 1]
f(A) = [1/4, 1]

B\A = [-1, 1/2]
f(B\A) = [0, 1]

f(B)\f(A) = [0, 1/4)
So they are not equal.

This is fine. I understand everything we're doing. Then, an annoying guy in the class asks a question. "But we could have just chosen a point, right?"

The response from the TA: "Yes. It's kinda fun to play around and see what works, isn't it?"

KINDA FUN TO PLAY AROUND AND SEE WHAT WORKS!?!

I googled fun just to see what kind of images show up. Here is but a small spattering:






I think you probably get the idea. It occurred to me that many, probably a majority even, of the people that I am in class with think things like playing around with sets and functions are fun. Perhaps it's because I was so sick of looking at math after hours of manipulating matrices and proving mappings are injective and similar such things. But I find very little about what I'm studying to be "fun."

Therefore, I do not want to be a mathematician. QED

हाउ वेल दोएस यौर कंप्यूटर क्नोव यू

My friends, the staff over at Maggie's Octopus and I have a game we like to play sometimes. I like to call it "How well does your computer know you?" Seeing as it's finals week, and I only have a million more hours worth of studying to do, I decided to play this game for a bit. Unfortunately, my friends at Maggie's Octopus are VERY busy, probably coaching girls softball or something equally as lame. So, instead, I decided to share with you, my avid readers, the results of this game.

The way the game is played is:
1. Open Facebook. Everyone has it. Nobody should be ashamed of it.
2. Click the Profile tab at the top to go to your profile.
3. Look at the sidebar on the right labeled Advertisements. Scroll down and click "More Ads"

This should bring you to a page called Advert Board. Here is where the fun begins!

On my Advert Board today, the first six ads were:


1. Mensuas Designer Swimwear

This one clearly screams my name. Not only does the picture look like it could be my twin brother, but the ad also appeals to my desire to find "the latest fashions and styles of mens underwear, swimwear and jewelry."

2. Good Boyfriend?

Again, perfect for me. "Find out if you could be a good boyfriend" too!

3. Mathematics Major?

Wow! I am a mathematics major. And I just happen to love surveys. 3 for 3!

4. Only if you are gay

A social network for gays. Gays.com. It doesn't get any better than this.

5. Threadless T-Shirts

I was actually hoping that I could find some rubber t-shirts.

6. Find a Tough to Love

You know me. I DO have a soft spot for toughs. I also love funs, intelligents, nices, generouses, and funnies.

I believe 4 out of the 6 advertisements on that page were specifically geared towards gay men, based on the pictures and the descriptions. Hmm... I guess my computer does really know me.

Let's scroll down to the 24 other advertisements on my Advert Board. Shall we?






Of these, there are:

14 Gay/Social Networking
5 NYC
4 Clothing
3 Religion
3 Marriage and Divorce
2 Shaving
1 Gardening
1 Cars
1 Art/Photography
1 Math

That about sums me up. I'm a gay, New Yorker who is into clothing, shaving, gardening, cars, nude male photography, and math. And I'm looking to get married and then divorced soon, in a very religious way.

Your turn!

Oh, and the Title is supposed to look that way. My computer knows me so well that it decided to change the language of my title. I love it!

What's That Famous Wizard Doing in My Homework?

Here we see an assignment for Complex Variables II. The picture may be a little hard to see. I didn't have a scanner to scan it. Instead I took a picture with my high quality camera phone. Maybe a better picture will make its way up here eventually.

What the question asks is:
Show how to define [(1+z)/(1-z)]^1/2 as a single-valued analytic function f(z) in the z-plane slit along the real segment [-1,1], with f(z) defined to be +1 at z=0 on the upper edge of the slit. What is the relation between the values of f(z) on the upper and lower edges of the slit?

Here is an overview of my answer:


First, I converted this into an exponential equation:
[(1+z)/(1-z)]^1/2 = e^[1/2 log(1+z)+1/2 log(1-z)]
I illustrated this in the graph to the left.
Then: "Poof! Proof by magic!"


In the enlarged picture, you can see Harry Potter with his lightning scar. I added the wand with an arrow pointing to it to let the grader know that "There's a phoenix feather in there!" Some people aren't aware of these things.

You might think that I forgot to answer the crucial part of the question. NOPE! It's in there too! "They're related by half-blood princes!"


Clearly, the grader was impressed. I got a "Nice." He took off half though. I think it was because of my grammar... related by half-blood princes? What was I thinking?

Professors, at it again...

Yesterday, I had an assignment due for my difficult class, Complex Variables. The professor for this class, let's call him Salami, has a tendency to be kind of a d-bag. During class, he likes to tell us how stupid we are and that we should have learned a lot more in the first semester. That sort of stuff. Back to the story though.

The assignment was due at 6, and he had office hours from 3 to 5. Because the class is particularly difficult, many people tend to show up for his office hours. Yesterday, there were about eight of us. He is also teaching an undergraduate class this semester, and he uses his office hours for both classes. There was one guy there to see him from that class.

He opened his door at about 3:15, and another student from the undergrad class emerged. He looked at the group in the hallway and asked, "Is anyone here to pick anything up for [insert undergrad class name]?"

This is how the conversation between him and the boy from the undergrad class went:

BOY: I wanted to talk to you.

SALAMI: Are you here to pick up a test or contest your grade?

BOY: No. I just have a question about the final.

SALAMI: Well, I'm not going to tell you anything about the exam, and I have a good reason. I haven't made it yet.

BOY: I wanted to ask if it would be possible to take it early or late.

SALAMI: Why? There is an exam schedule and you're expected to adhere to it. What reason could you have to not take it on time? Tell me here. It can't be anything personal. So you should be able to say it right now.

(All of the grad students in the hall were visibly fighting back laughing out loud at this exchange.)

BOY: Well, it's going to sound a little silly. I'm going to be out of the country the weekend before, competing in a paper airplane contest.

(A few hushed chuckles erupt.)


BOY: Seriously. I'm not making this up.

SALAMI: Well, we can talk about it later.

BOY: Should I come back to your office hours on Monday?

SALAMI: No, we can talk about it on Wednesday, when you finish with the exam.

I don't feel that this story needs any commentary. It works well enough on its own. However, donations will be accepted to help cover his international flight. E-mail me for information.

Integral Humor... Just You Wait. You're gonna love it!

Oh, do I have a funny story for you today. This one comes from one of my classes. My professor was telling us about another mathematician. I don't remember his name. It's probably not that important. He went to City College way back in the 1930s. He was in his physics class, and he challenged the professor with a question.

"What exactly is a surface integral?"

The professor laughed a little and said, "That's MORONIC! It says right in the name... an integral along a surface."

To which the student (a future mathematician/professor) said, "Oh, I see. Just like a Riemann integral is an integral along a Riemann."


HAA!

An integral along a Riemann. Get it?

Fucking hilarious!

I love that math classes can be so funny. SO funny!