As I was waiting outside a professor's office the other day, I decided to kill some time reading one of the many bulletin boards. I happened upon this gem.
Now, if I were Professor F, and if I were giving a lecture on Revising Our Logic, I think I might leave my photograph off of the announcement for it. Particularly if my photo looked like this...
And if, by chance, I were forced to put my photo on the announcement, I wouldn't have it read "Save the Date" at the top. That sorta makes it sound like a wedding announcement. And I wouldn't want people to associate my picture with wedding announcements.
As many of you (or should I say both of you) know, I love GLEE. Love it! Maybe that makes me a big, screaming queer. I'm okay with that. For those of you who don't know the TV show, there is a character on it named Rachel who tends to be a little grating. Many of her classmates, including her fellow glee club members, can't stand her. She is sort of a kiss ass, thinks very highly of herself, and is extremely annoying in a way that makes you want to punch her in the face, or just throw a slushy in it.
There just so happens to be a Rachel in one of my classes. Yes, it's true. She even shares the same name with her television counterpart. The character may have even been loosely based on her. I noticed Rachel on the first day of class because she sat in the row in front of me, wearing a bright red sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. Pretty typical for girls in college. "I'm going to class. I want to be comfortable." This isn't as typical for students at NYU, but who am I to judge?
I'm going to go off on a little tangent now. I will return to my original thought eventually. But for now, let's review Rachel's attire.
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
And last week...
Does anyone else see a pattern here? Again, who am I to judge? You can judge for yourselves. I encourage it.
While Rachel's choice of clothing may be ______________ (fill in the blank yourself), that's not what is so annoying about her. I have written a two-act play which illustrates some of Rachel's particularly annoying qualities:
QUIZZICAL: A Two-Act Musical Illustrating Rachel's Particularly Annoying Qualities
Act 1: Week Before the Midterm
PROF: Class, I think I'm going to give you a break. There will be no quiz this week?
RACHEL (breaks out into song): What? No quiz? Gee whiz! I'll cry. I'll DIE!
CLASS (in unison): Shut up. We don't want a quiz.
RACHEL (again, in song): But, I did so poorly on the first. My grades, they will be the worst. Oh me, oh my, I'll cry, I'll DIE!
PROF: Okay, I'll give you a quiz.
CLASS: Ugh. We hate her.
Intermission
Act 2: Week After the Midterm
Enter the class, in different outfits. Then, enter Rachel, wearing a red sweatshirt and gray sweatpants.
PROF: Since I gave you a quiz the week before the midterm, I'll give you a break this week. No quiz.
RACHEL (reprise): What? No quiz? Gee whiz! I'll cry. I'll DIE! I did so poorly on the first. My grades, they will be the worst. Oh me, oh my, I'll cry, I'll DIE!
PROF: Okay, I'll give you a quiz.
CLASS: Seriously?
THE END
I'm not sure if it's clear from QUIZZICAL that Rachel did poorly on her first quiz or not. But she did, along with the rest of the class. So poorly, in fact, that the grade for the first quiz doesn't even show up when we check our grades online. I'm fairly certain the professor threw it out because it was a lame quiz. However, Rachel is so focused on the fact that she blew one quiz. She's afraid she won't get an A because of it. The reason that I know all this is actually not because I talk to her. It's because she turns around and tells EVERYONE about it EVERY time the professor mentions not having a quiz.
And if that is not annoying enough, imagine Rachel having a squeaky mouse voice. Maybe reread QUIZZICAL with that in mind.
"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children."
